Jan 25, 2013


      Uh. . .I've been nominated for an award. O_O Never done this before, so this should be interesting, but I guess y'all deserve to know a bit more about me. I stink at writing bios for myself, so here's nothing.

      The rules consist of me listing 11 facts about myself, answering 11 questions my nominator assigned me (who, by the way, is Leah K. from Appasionata. Thanks, girlie), link to said blog, and nominate 11 other bloggers with 200 or less followers and give them 11 questions.

      Like I said, this should be interesting.

      But without further ado. . .

1. One of my favorite numbers happens to be 11. Which makes this award perfect.
2. I'm obsessed with the MBTI.
3. I decided that my red/pink plaid jacket is evil the other day.
4. I have a tendency to tell people that I have an elf in my head. Sadly, only my writer friends and three year olds believe me. The four and five year olds told me I was lying. It was so sad.
5. I must always have a purple toothbrush. If it is another color? Humanity has apparently ended.
6. I help lead a zombie army (that likes to vacation by a certain pineapple under the sea) to fight against the evil squirrels and Peep marshmallow things. No? Not buying it?
7. I want a cat someday. A black and white one.
8. I'm convinced a cat named Simon wanted to kill me when I was a baby. Strangely, he was black and white.
9. I grow my nails long, but forget to shape them, and am always hurting someone with the jagged edges.
10. I have run in revolving doors. At a hospital. Right in front of a front desk. Surprisingly, they did not reprimand me.
11. I am cursed with seeing 11:11 on the clock all the time. Or 1:11. Or I'll strangely see long strings of one. So I decided  I was cursed. Muahaha.

And the questions Leah gave me:

1. Would you rather be respected, or loved?

Mmm. That's difficult. I love to be loved and I fear that in my heart that's what I'd want, but let's go with respect, because I believe that one to be the better option.

2. What is a favorite quote of yours?

I've heard different variations of it, so I'm not sure who it's by, but: "I am not who I once was." I love that. Because I'm not who I was before, and I'll never be her again.

3. List 3 of your favorite songs at the moment?

O_O Three? Oh dear, that's difficult. I have way too many favorites. Uh, The Show by Lenka, Shake It Out by Florence and The Machine, and Animal by Miike Snow. Sorry if my choices are weird. I listen to nearly everything. So, just picked three random things.

4. Cows or peacocks?

Oooh, hard one. I've always fancied peacocks, though. I love birds and those feathers are just gorgeous.

5. Describe your style/taste in art, design, fashion?

Honestly, this changes. Art? Well, I like to draw anime-influenced styles of art. Design? I don't know. Whatever works to me at the time. Fashion? This changes. Sometimes in nothing more than grabbing the first shirt I see. However, I like wearing unbuttoned button up tops over tank tops. 

6. What place would you travel to if you could?

Oh this is rough. I would prefer a nice long trip in which I could make multiple stops. Because I want to go to Australia, Japan, Texas, Illinois, Georgia, and several stops throughout my home state.

7. Coffee or tea?

Honestly, I like both. I drink tea most of the time since it's what I have, but I'll also jump on an offer for coffee. Not sure which I like best.

8. Introvert or extrovert?

Extrovert, most definitely. Though I am a lot more introverted than I used to be. However, I live in a family with five introverts. It's bound to rub off.

9. What do you hope to do with your life?

To not ruin it. *starts laughing* Okay, I want to publish a book. That's my main goal. 

10. What's your favorite entree?

Entree? Oh, no idea. I don't have a favorite meal, really.

11. If you could be granted 1 wish, what would it be?

*coughs* For a wish machine. . . 

      And I have to make some questions for those lucky people I tag.

1. Do you have an accent?
2. Fiction or non-fiction?
3. Favorite number?
4. Favorite kind of coin?
5. Favorite color pen?
6. If you could get any book for free right now, what would it be?
7. If you could meet one famous person, who would it be?
8. If you could be invincible for 24 hours, what would you do?
9. If you could throw anything at your bedroom wall, what would it be?
10. What's the most interesting disease/disorder/syndrome/etc. to you?
11. You can own any animal of your choice. What animal is it?

      And those I tag are:

Yes, sorry, people. I don't know 11. 2 will work. 2 is another beautiful little number. . . 

Oh, the other rule was that I had to let them know that. Okay, off to do that. . . 

Jan 21, 2013

Yesterday's Gone, Yesterday's Gone

      I have to thank Leah for her comment on my last post. I know I said that the three types are Past Oriented, Present Oriented, and Future Oriented. However, I think that everyone slips into each view from time to time. All I'm getting at is that we tend to reside more in one than another.

      This is why the Past Oriented scares me.  I've been there.

      As much as I dwell in the future, I find it way too easy to get sucked into the past. Ever since I was little, I'd get uber nostalgic over things. Then I'd feel rather disappointed because I don't know how to find that feel or that happiness again. I didn't know any better at the time, but you can't get it back. It's over, it's gone.

      But once your average PaO realizes that, they might dig the hole even deeper.  

      Is it my fault? Did I lose this? Can I bring it back?

      I have fallen into this pit too many times. I'll decide that something was my fault. Then I sit and contemplate the past even more, trying to figure out how I could've fixed it.

      But that's the thing. It isn't always our fault. More times than not on these things, I had nothing to do with it. When you're a PaO it's just so easy to think it is. You want it back. You were the one who lost it.

      Or worse: You blame someone else.

      Residing in the past is also an excellent way to get down in the dumps, feeling depressed. Because yesterday's gone. And you liked it. You want to be the person you used to be. Sometimes we just have to wake up and realize that that person is gone and that a new one is here. Things have happened. Things have changed. That other you is never coming back. Maybe a similar one will, but never the same one. 

      I hope I haven't depressed you. Being a PaO isn't entirely full of cons. I'm just rather prejudiced against it at the moment, so feel free to send all your hate mail at me. It can also have some really good factors. You see what's happened before and you don't want it to happen again. You know how to avoid things. Maybe it'll translate wrong to other people, but you're most likely really good at protecting yourself and others. You've seen things happen and know how to circumnavigate them. After all, history does repeat itself, and it's best to be prepared when it does.

      The past isn't all that bad, it's just a scary place for me. I don't know, maybe because it's opposite of what I am. I might figure it out. . . .someday.


See you next time for the Present Oriented!


Jan 15, 2013

Past, Present, Future

      I've come to notice that there are three types of people. Some are a little mixed, but they're all closer to one side than the other. And these types are the Past Oriented, the Present Oriented, and the Future Oriented.

      All these types seem to be living life differently. Maybe not too much on the outside, but on the inside. As you may have guessed, it might be where they're residing internally. Whether they're living in the past, the present, or the future.

Past Oriented:

      Living in the past has been the scariest place to reside in my eyes. Oftentimes, these people want something back. Something they lost. Something they might've thought that they caused themselves to lose. They want to be the person they no longer are. They feel like they need forgiveness, but they can't give it to themselves.

Present Oriented:

      On the outside, this person looks like they're in excellent shape. They live in the now. What they're going to do at this second. They could be a thrill seeker, but they could just be that stay-at-home mom across the street who is saving the world--one coupon at a time. However, everything has it's flaws. They might forget the big picture: Like how the past repeats itself if you're not careful, and how what they do today might affect the future.

Future Oriented:

      I tend to be more future oriented, myself. I can seem cheery and full of energy. It's true, this type is easily excited. The future is full of endless possibilities. And many of them are really, really great. However, we (or at least I) tend to forget about the past and present. The past for reminding me how I am not going to be an actor because I have that horrible fear of video cameras, and the present for doing what must be done to get me there (conquering le fear of cameras). It is also very easy to become horrified by the future if you decide things are going downhill.

      The thing is, our characters tend to fit mostly one of these looks on life. One of my main characters, for example, tends to live in the past. Another lives in the present. Over the next few posts, I'll be describing each of these outlooks in a little more detail.


Jan 8, 2013

Through Their Eyes, Not Mine

      I hope you will all forgive me for my absence. The holidays did not give me all the writing time I wanted. But I'm back, and should be for good now.

      Over the past three weeks I realized something. I was having trouble writing in the POV of a character that used to come so easy to me. First, I blamed it on the scene needing to change. So I tried that. Then, I decided it was my problem. 

      A lot changes over two and a half years. I met the character a long time ago, and was of a different mindset. When I started writing the character, we connected. Easy. Simple. Not much to think about. I just opened the page and typed away his thoughts and feelings.

      We were similar.

      Now we're not.

      People change a lot over a few years. Circumstance changes how you see things, realizations helps you fix them. I am not what I once was, and I don't want to go back in the past. I want to live in today.

      I was deathly scared. I thought I'd have to go backwards. Get in the mindset I used to be in. And I didn't want to be there. That wasn't me anymore.

      All of my foolish worrying made me realize something: I may not be in that mindset anymore, but he is. That never changed. Only I did. And I had it all come to me so easily before that I dropped a crucial key to writing. I have to look through their eyes. Not mine. Not my brother's. Their eyes. It's how they see the world, not me. All writing is, is getting into their mindset. Not changing your own.

      I may have to work to get there, but it's not me. I just have get into character. And that character is not me.

- Kelsey Gulick